Bill Lenoir

Like a bitch in heat, I seem to attract a coterie of policemen and sanitation officials. The world will someday get me on some ludicrous pretext; I simply await the day they drag me to some airconditioned dungeon and leave me there beneath the fluorescent lights and sound-proofed ceiling to pay the price of scorning all that they hold dear within their little latex hearts.

There are two novels that can change a bookish fourteen-year old's life: The Lord of the Rings and Atlas Shrugged. One is a childish fantasy that often engenders a lifelong obsession with its unbelievable heroes, leading to an emotionally stunted, socially crippled adulthood, unable to deal with the real world. The other, of course, involves orcs.

Freed from desire, then you can see the hidden mystery.

As God is my witness, I thought turkeys could fly.

All that is wrong with American food culture can be traced to the recipe. I am suffering under its tyranny.

A victory described in detail is indistinguishable from a defeat.

Shakespeare is like mashed potatoes, you can never get enough of him.

Never trust a skinny chef or a fat priest.

He viewed his own mentality as grotesque but useful, like a chair made of antlers.

Reading good books ruins you for reading bad books.