July, 2003

The Canonical Hamburger

I'm open to a wide variety of options for hamburgers. And whatever you like, well, it's your stomach, so that's up to you. However, there are some immutable laws that apply to this paradise on a bun:

1. The juicier the better, so fat is good! Ground sirloin makes for an incredibly dry burger. You could get away with ground round, but I reccomend using ground chuck. If you're worried about your weight, then you shouldn't be eating hamburgers in the first place. Do it right or don't do it at all!
2. The bun counts. You're looking for a careful balance. Not enough structual integrity makes for a disaster as the burger disintigrates. Too tough a bread, and everything goes squishing out the sides. You can use onion rolls, whole grain breads, or whatever suits your fancy as long as you pay attention to the architecture.
3. Give me pickle slices, not spears. I want the darn things in my burger. The vinigar and other flavors really add to the beef.
4. Offer me onions. You may not want them, but I believe that a burger without the crunch and zing of a raw onion is a waste of time.